Ephesians - Husbands and Wives
Heavenly Father, I ask that you would have the effect in our hearts and lives that you desire your word to have, spirit that you would bless the faithful preparation of Pastor Cameron, word. You might, bring about your glory through, the proclamation of your truth. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Pastor Cameron:Morning, church. How are you? Good. Good. My name is Cameron.
Pastor Cameron:I'm, one of the pastors here. And, we're gonna be in Ephesians this morning. Same, same book or letter that we've been in for the last several weeks. We'll be there this week. We'll be there again next week, and then we'll be starting our new sermon series the week after that, called asking for a friend.
Pastor Cameron:If you have seen that or anything like that, if you follow us on social media, you'll know that that series is all about the questions that you have. And so, you can text in your questions to us, and, we'll we have a whole big long list of them right now that you have been sending, and then, we'll, we'll prepare a few messages off of some of those questions. So, but until then we're going to finish up in Ephesians, and, and dig into some of these verses that we haven't got to yet. Thanks Norm. Yeah.
Pastor Cameron:Appreciate it. So if you've been following if you've been following with us, if you've been following with us in Ephesians, you, may know where we are in the in the book this morning. Last week, pastor Luke preached a message out of Ephesians chapter 5, the first, the first section or the first half of Ephesians chapter 5. And so this week, we're going to deal with the second section of Ephesians chapter 5. And if you're familiar at all with this section, you might understand why I say these next few things, because, anytime or I should maybe not anytime, but sometimes, what can happen is when we approach sections of scripture that have been, dealt in the church and in the culture as this section of scripture has, it makes us a little uncomfortable.
Pastor Cameron:And, when we're a little uncomfortable, we might do things that are out of character in our own hearts to kind of break the tension of the room or break the tension of what's being said. Today we're going to talk about the relationship between and how Paul uses the relationship between wives and husbands as, I guess you could call it a simile, to describe the relationship between the faithful in Jesus Christ or the church and Jesus himself. So Paul is going to use comparison to talk about the relationship of husbands and wives and the relationship of Jesus to his church. And, and, my hope is that we can, we can be blessed by the Lord's word. We can be blessed by his will, and that we can not just learn something maybe intellectually, although I certainly hope that that happens, but we can be but we can be even transformed in our own hearts, transformed in our own faith in Jesus, through it.
Pastor Cameron:But here are a few things that I, what that I maybe a few caveats or a few nuances that I want to offer before we jump into this, properly. And these come from what I would what what I what I would say is these come from a pastoral heart. A pastoral heart from me to you. Because I, my my always my hope and always my prayer and always my desires that we'd be growing in grace. We'd be growing in our grace with one another.
Pastor Cameron:We'd be growing in our love for one another. We'd be growing in our love for our heavenly father, and that our our lives, display the fruit of that love. The way that that the fruit of that love is displayed is the way we treat one another. Right? How how we interact with one another.
Pastor Cameron:How we talk with one another. What we say, what we don't say. Not just what we say, but even how we say it. And, so here here are here are a few things that I, I don't know if encourage you is the right word to say or discourage you is the right word to say or if it's exhort or admonish. How about I just say this?
Pastor Cameron:How about I just say it strongly for you this morning? It is my strong encouragement to you, that as we are going through some of these topics and even some of these, these discussions here on God's word, What we will not, what I will not tolerate, is any disrespect towards women that involves any, like, sly comments, side eyes, glances, anything like that around things like, well, yeah, women are meant to stay in the kitchen. Women are meant to serve men. Women are objects of sexual desire. Like, no no no comments that dishonor women in any way will be seen from my perspective as appropriate.
Pastor Cameron:And I feel like, and and and my prayer is that our our life as a community together would incarnate that reality as well. That we would love and honor all women in the beauty and glory of how God has created them and who he has created them to be and what he has created them to do. And we'll always do everything that we can to to respect and honor and glorify the the the dignity of women as God has created them, by not speaking about them or to them in any such in any way like that. Likewise, we will do the same for men. What is often, what is often the case is that in, in in attempt to, protect the dignity and image of God in women is we we run to the other side, the to the extreme of the other side.
Pastor Cameron:And in order to try and lift up women, what do we try to do? We try to berate men. Right? You don't need to go very far into popular culture or watch very many sitcoms. In fact, if you watch any TV at all, generally speaking, the man of the show, the husband of the show, the husband of the family is an idiot.
Pastor Cameron:Right? He's portrayed as a bonehead. As having no sense of like dignity or honor or strength or leadership, but rather he's portrayed as being aloof, not knowing anything, not having any sense of emotional intelligence at all. Just being a guy who sits on the couch during the whole thing and barks orders or yells at people or tells inappropriate jokes. And while this might be a caricature of manhood in the culture in general, What we're going to do here both for women and men is call all of us to the highest standards of who God has called us to be, and how he calls us to function in life and in the family and in the church.
Pastor Cameron:And that starts with the way that starts with the way that we speak about one another and to one another. Alright? So we we won't we won't be making chauvinistic jokes or comments about women, and we won't be making demeaning or degrading jokes about men either. Apart from just our words, it will be our actions. We're going to talk about wives submitting to husbands this morning, and we're going to talk about husbands loving your wives as Christ loved the church.
Pastor Cameron:You may feel inclined if you're sitting next to your spouse to do one of these, at some point. Or if they're sitting further far enough away where your elbow can't reach, you might give them the glance and the side eye, and, to make sure that they, to make sure that they are listening during these moments. While I understand that sometimes that helps to break the tension of what can be what what can be I think for the wrong reasons, but nevertheless what can be a difficult conversation. My call to you this morning is that we, we adopt a posture and a spirit of reverence, honor, awe, sacrifice, service, and love as we are considering how the words of scripture, might call out us and our spouse to a, different level of holiness without wondering whether or not the Lord is speaking to them. Why don't we just worry about what the Lord is speaking to us this morning?
Pastor Cameron:Okay? This is this is the way that we'll we will love one another. This is a good way to love one another in community. I also understand I've been a pastor of this church for long enough, almost 10 years now. I also understand that, many of us come to the conversation about marriage, from from much different places.
Pastor Cameron:Meaning some of us might be showing up this morning and thinking, like, marriage is great. I absolutely I do. I adore my marriage. I love my marriage. Like, it is fantastic.
Pastor Cameron:Marriage is great and it's awesome. Some of us might be coming this morning under, like, feeling like my marriage is horrible. Others might be coming, with no concept of marriage at all because you're single Or maybe you're, a widow or a widower. Or you might be coming with this tonight with the with the reality of marriage that you're you are married but you're married to an unbeliever. Someone that does not profess faith in Jesus Christ.
Pastor Cameron:And so you're kind of in this weird liminal space between what you're wanna what you wanna know and believe about marriage, but not understanding how it maybe can apply to your life as it exists now. You might be coming with the reality of your life as being divorced, or maybe you're separated, or maybe you're not divorced or separated, but maybe in your heart you want to be and you feel stuck wondering what the next step is. Maybe you've been married for a year. Maybe you've been married for 50 years. Maybe you're in a really life giving God honoring marriage, and maybe you are stuck in the silence and loneliness of an abusive marriage that no one knows about.
Pastor Cameron:All of those things and all of those realities, I want you to know that, like, the the same the same words that I would speak to the healthy marriage, like, I would say this. Like, what I want to recognize and be gentle with is to be present in the reality of all situations that likely exist here today. To know that my like, from from the from the heart of a pastor. Right? I I I do see it all.
Pastor Cameron:Right? And I hold it all and desire to that the word of God would minister to you in whatever season or situation of marriage or relationship with marriage that you have. Even if you do not find it like, firmly rooted in what we talk about this morning. What we will not do or what I will not do is really apologize for what the word of god says. Scores of pastors and theologians and well meaning people have tried to nuance away, explain away, or translate away what is pretty clear in scripture.
Pastor Cameron:And, so while I understand maybe sometimes it's a difficulty and the difficult way the word of God transforms us, I will not excuse our disobedience to it because of the current state of affairs as it pertains to marriage in the world. Also understand. And I would. This is what I'm at. Something I'm asking for you is that you would extend a fair bit of grace to me this morning.
Pastor Cameron:Understanding that that it is absolutely it is absolutely impossible that everything that could be said about marriage from the scripture, even everything that could be said about this particular passage, that I will be able to say it in the next 40 minutes. Okay? So just because I don't say something does not mean I'm intentionally avoiding something, nor does it mean that I don't believe it or understand it. Because of a desire to honor your time and the time of our conduit kids volunteers, there are things and topics that are left out. We will deal with this passage more and more extensively and passages other passages like it, at our Wednesday night bible study, which happens every Wednesday night here downstairs in the church at 6 pm.
Pastor Cameron:And we'll also deal with topics like this and verses like this at our marriage conference that we're hosting here at Conduit on October 18th 19th of this coming year. You know, of this coming fall. So a few things to recognize as we move forward. 1st, I want to recognize, recognize, affirm, and proclaim that God that marriage is God's idea. It is something that god has established.
Pastor Cameron:It is not our idea. It was not an idea that was birthed in any type of culture anywhere at one point where some people just thought it was a good idea for people to join together in holy matrimony. That marriage is a good idea, and it was all all marriages honor God and that divorce, while unfortunate, does happen and is okay in some circumstances. Nor recognize that even in the midst of circumstances like that, that God redeems and restores hearts in the midst of what are incredibly, incredible tragedies, what are broken promises, what are mistakes, what is the hardness of hearts. And that the end of a marriage is not, listen, the end of your life, the end of a marriage is not the end of God's love for you, The end of a marriage is not the end of a relationship with God for you.
Pastor Cameron:You may be sitting here this morning and be like, well, I am not married so I guess I'm excused. And, well, you know, it might be might be easy to think that. What I wanna say is that this message is still for you. This message is for all of us because, as we will see, in Ephesians 521-33 what Paul does is he talks about marriage, right, as a way in which a human relationship can glorify and bring witness to the gospel. So that so that the way in which people are in relationship to one another In his example, the way in which a husband and wife are in relationship with one another can be a, essentially, a bullhorn for the gospel truth, for the truth of the gospel.
Pastor Cameron:That our marriages are a way in which the gospel is glorified in our world, glorified in our culture. Right? And so, you don't need to necessarily be married to understand how our relationships are a reflection of our response to the Lord Jesus Christ. Let's read our scripture for this morning and then, dig into it a little bit more significantly. Ephesians 522 through 33.
Pastor Cameron:Wives, submit to your husbands as to the lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also, wives should submit to their husbands and everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
Pastor Cameron:He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but feeds and cares for it just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the 2 will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Pastor Cameron:However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Now, these verses and verses like it are a really good example of one particular line in the life of Joseph from the book of Genesis. You know, chapters like 35 through 50, right, is the last is the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis. And in one instance when Joseph met with his brothers, after being sold into slavery ending up in Egypt ending up being a very powerful man in Egypt. And he was, reunited with his brothers.
Pastor Cameron:And what he said to them is he said, what you intended for evil, God used for good. Right? And if there is, if there is any verse, certainly this verse here, particularly Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22, wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Certainly, this verse has been used to leverage abusive and ungodly behavior. What it has been used as is a way to lead tyrannically with an authoritarian spirit rather than the spirit of Christ, which calls the husband into a place of self sacrifice, humility and service to his wife, just as the Scripture says, Christ loved the church.
Pastor Cameron:What we're also, so I want to talk about what is kind of like the, you know the main the main thing that like brings people's attention to the forefront right at the beginning. And that's just the second word here in verse 22. Wives, submit. Now, the word, the word submission for us for in in America, in 21st century Western world, the word, the word submission is like is a swear word, basically. Right?
Pastor Cameron:We we have been taught and we have been conditioned to submit to no one. Right. We we, we are we are the boss of us. Right. We are independent and we are strong and, we are on the proverbial top of the ladder, top rung of every ladder that we, that we walk on.
Pastor Cameron:And submission is not something that I will do. The word submit here in, in the scripture is, has a very particular and very distinctive meaning. Unlike, unlike the English language, the Greek language in which this was, which was written is an inflected language. Meaning that there's many different forms of the same type of word with small little intricate details that change really the whole thrust of a word, when we understand its usage. The word here in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 that is translated in our Bibles submit is the word, hupatasso.
Pastor Cameron:You'll see it here up on your screen. Looks like Hippotasso, it's pronounced hupatasso. It actually is a military term. It comes out of, a military background, and what it means is to order or arrange oneself under something or someone else. And the word hupatasso here is what we call in the Greek language is it's in the it's something called the middle voice.
Pastor Cameron:It's a particular way that, when a when a word is formatted in this way, it gives particular meaning to how it's exercised in someone's life. And in the the middle voice, is the the meaning of a word that's placed in the middle voice is that it is something that it is a verb that's that indicates that the person is doing it to themselves. Is a verb that is in it's the submit submission verb in the middle voice which means that those who are to submit according to Huppertassos They submit not under the subjugation of someone else but they submit as a volitional act of their own choosing. They place themselves under someone or something else. They are not placed there by someone else.
Pastor Cameron:It is not something that is forced upon them as an act of control, but rather is a response of their life based on the conditions that exist around them. That wives here according to Paul are exhorted to make the choice to submit yourself to your husband. Well, how could I possibly submit myself to my husband? Wouldn't that mean that I am voluntarily declaring that he is better than me. That he is superior.
Pastor Cameron:That he is more important. That he has more value, that he has more worth in the sight of God, that he, that that he is the chief end of of God's goal? And I would say, no. That is not the case. In fact, if we look at a scripture like 1st Corinthians chapter 11 verse 3, we see that there is an interesting dynamic happening here in the scripture where both a hierarchy of structure and functionality is described in the midst of there being a posture of submission.
Pastor Cameron:Paul says this to the Corinthians, but I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ. Okay. We got that. The head of the woman is man. Okay.
Pastor Cameron:We got that. And the head of Christ is God. Now, listen, I'm following with all of that until the very last part of that sentence. The head of Christ is God. Now, if we take an authoritarian, like if we take an authoritarian stance, which means, like, okay, if someone is the head over me, that means they're better than me.
Pastor Cameron:They're more powerful over submission, then we have to come to this place of asking that how, given what we believe about the nature of the relationship between God the father, God the son, and God the holy spirit. Right? How possibly can we believe that the head of Christ is God, parenthesis the father? Because don't we believe as Christians, right, firmly rooted in the Christian faith, firmly rooted in the in the scripture, that God the father, God the Son, Jesus, God the Holy Spirit are co equal in divinity. Correct?
Pastor Cameron:They are co equal in their eternality. They have all co existed. Right? From the beginning from the beginning of time. Right?
Pastor Cameron:Not not one existing because of the other not one higher or more important than than another but understanding that within the god head within the trinity there is functionality that exists with the father. There's functionality that exists with the son. There's functionality that exists with the spirit, and because they function different in the godhead we do not necessarily believe that one is more powerful or important than the other, do we? No, we don't. They are co equally God.
Pastor Cameron:They are God 3 in 1, God as trinity. So how now can we say okay we we understand an an equality of God in father, son, and spirit, but now here we see that Jesus himself the head of Christ is God. What does this tell us? What can this help us to understand that even in the midst of ultimate worth being equal, that there is a posture of submission to the will of another that does not divest us of our worth. That when we submit to when we submit to someone else, it does not necessarily come across as a confession that they are better or more superior than us.
Pastor Cameron:Why do we know that? Well, we have it written right within the right within the relationship of the godhead. That Jesus that Jesus himself was a man who was under the authority of the father not because the father was better or more superior form of God than him, but because he willfully placed himself in that position. Of John Jesus says I only do what I see the father doing. I only say what the father says.
Pastor Cameron:I only hear what the father says. Whatever the father wants is what I do. In the garden of Gethsemane, we see Jesus say submit to the will of the father even above his own will. Right? Father if this cup can pass for me, if there can be another way to make this happen, Lord please let it happen.
Pastor Cameron:But if there is no other way, I submit myself to your will. Right? In those moments, Jesus was not any less god, but what he was was taking on a posture of, a willful submission to the will of the other other in order to express a functionality that brings glory to god. See, submission is not the superiority of the husband over the wife. Submission is the expression of a god ordained functionality in the bond and covenant of marriage.
Pastor Cameron:Unless we think and lest we think that the Lord is only calling wives to submit. Understand this, That while submission may be some kind of dirty word for 21st century modern American people, and it might kind of strike at the sentiments of all of the, like, independence that we and, like, and and worth that we hope that women and wives have in the culture. Listen, every single Christian person, every single person who believes by faith in Jesus Christ is a person under submission to someone else. Every single person. There is not a person who expresses faith in Jesus Christ.
Pastor Cameron:There is not a person in the Christian community. There is not a person who expresses faith in Jesus that that can say that they walk outside of submitting to anyone else. You cannot simultaneously call Jesus Christ your Lord and at the same time say I submit to no one. Those two things are mutually exclusive from one another. The great contribution of the Christian of Christian faith and practice is that submission is not linear in one direction.
Pastor Cameron:But that out of the character of Christ, we learn that we actually mutually submit to one another all the time. We mutually defer to one another all the time. In fact, Paul says in, Ephesians 521, the verse right before what we pre, already read is that we submit to one another out of what? Reverence for Jesus Christ. Our submission to one another comes from the example of Jesus himself.
Pastor Cameron:We mutually submit to one another all of the time. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 1 be imitators of God therefore as dearly loved children and live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to god. In first Peter, in first Peter chapter 5 verse 5 we see Peter talking about the kind of like the relationship between different generations of people within the Christian community and he says this he says, in the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. He's talking about how, like, we develop discipling relationships within the community of faith. And those of us who are younger should submit ourselves, place ourselves voluntarily under the leadership, spiritual leadership and headship of those who are older in the faith.
Pastor Cameron:To do that on our own. But then what is the very next thing that he says? But all of you clothe yourself with humility towards one another. So at the point where he's first saying, younger people submit yourself to older people. But also all of you, pull yourselves in humility towards all of you.
Pastor Cameron:Right? That that submission is not just this linear Jesus Christ, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who deferred himself, who laid down his life for our sins, who gave himself in sacrifice for our salvation. It is not just wives that submit to husbands, but it is Christians that submit to the Lord and Christians that submit to one another out of reverence for Christ and and and Christians that submit to governmental authorities in Romans chapter 13 verse 1 and Christians that submit to their church leadership, Hebrews chapter 13 verse 17. It is written in the very foundation of who we say Jesus Christ is as lord, that we are all people under submission. The famous revivalist and pastor Charles Spurgeon said this.
Pastor Cameron:He says, a man is never far from the gates of heaven when he is fully submissive to the Lord's will. So what else can we know about this? We know about who hupatasso is. It's not a word of subjugation. It's not a word of servitude.
Pastor Cameron:It's not a word of slavery. It's a word of willingness. It's a word of volition. It's a choice that wives make in order to honor God by honoring taking a position of, a position of submission. But what is important here is a few things.
Pastor Cameron:It says, Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Some translations will read, Wives, submit to your own husbands. You might have that translation with you. What is particular here, I think, is what we what I what I want to make sure that you hear is this. The the the biblical exhortation is wives submitting to husbands, singular.
Pastor Cameron:Right? A wife submits to her husband. It is not all women submit to all men. Right? That is not what Paul says here.
Pastor Cameron:Not even close. Right? Is that is that all women are required to submit to all men. No. It's the Paul's words here are very, very particular and very, very direct.
Pastor Cameron:That when we enter the covenant of marriage, that the wife takes a position volitionally of submitting to the leadership of her husband. It's to exemplify the exclusivity of submission in the household unit, not in culture as a whole. In verse 23, he says that for the husband, why? Why do we submit? Why should wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord?
Pastor Cameron:Verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife as or just as Christ is the head of the church, his body. Paul begins to he uses a simile here, right? Talking about things that are similar in order to help us understand how they function in reality. So the question there being, if the question is well what is then the relationship or the interaction between a husband, and a wife who submits is like okay look no further than the way in which Jesus is in relationship with his church.
Pastor Cameron:That is the example. That is the thing that should be upheld. And so in the same way that we ask questions about like, okay how does Jesus love the church? How does Jesus love us the community of faith? How does Jesus serve the church?
Pastor Cameron:How does Jesus protect and provide for? How does Jesus care for? How does Jesus speak to? How does Jesus speak about all of these and more? Help us to understand the dynamic of relationship between wife and husband in the role of submission, and as we'll see in a minute, in the role of a husband to love sacrificially.
Pastor Cameron:It is my belief, and I believe the and I believe the, the truth of scripture, that when we have husbands that love their wives like Jesus loves the church, that submission becomes not a word that we dread, but a position that we delight in. And it is also, my position, and I believe the position of the scripture here, as we'll see in a moment, that wives who refuse to submit to the leadership and headship of their husbands, they conceal and hide the way that the church itself should respond in submission to Jesus. What Paul says here at the end of verse 24 sometimes creates a little bit of a stir. He says wives submit to their husbands in what? In what environments?
Pastor Cameron:Say it out loud it's okay. In everything, right? Now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit to their husbands and everything. Now I said I'm not going to nuance anything. I'm not going to try and explain anything away.
Pastor Cameron:If I went to the Greek here and tried to translate the word everything to get a more nuanced understanding of what it means because it can't possibly mean everything. Right? Right. You know what the Greek definition of the word everything is. Right?
Pastor Cameron:It's everything. There's no difference. Right? It is what it is and it says what it says. Right?
Pastor Cameron:But it's really also not as simple as that because what is the foundation of a wife's submission to their husband? The foundation of submission of the wife's submission to the husband, right, is her submission first to the Lord Jesus. Where she cannot be submitted to her husband, but be unsubmitted to Jesus. Right? And and and, of course, the primary place of position for every person, despite whatever relationship they have with a husband or a wife.
Pastor Cameron:The primary relationship is always with the savior. It is always with the savior. And so when we talk about submission in everything, right, although there's not any nuance there, there is nuance there. Because as a wife, and I am not one. Right?
Pastor Cameron:But I have one. And what my expectation would be, according to the truth of scripture, is that if I attempted to lead my family or to lead my wife specifically in a direction that brought disgrace to the Lord, or that led her into sin, or that led my children into sin. If I were to ask her to do something illicit, illegal, immoral, unethical, breaking the law of the Lord, I could not then come behind everything I said, and you must do all of this because the word of god says, submit to me in everything. Because her primary responsibility is not submission to me. Her primary responsibility is submission to who?
Pastor Cameron:The Lord. Right? And she submits to me as I submit to the Lord. Right? Her submission to me comes comes from a place of my connection with the heavenly father, so that as I am submitting myself to the Lord, she is willfully submitting herself to me.
Pastor Cameron:Practically speaking, that can get a little dicey, can it not? My husband, I love you. I want to follow you. I desire to submit myself to you, but I do not believe you are in submission to the Lord. So I am entrusting this situation to you and to the Lord.
Pastor Cameron:You are responsible and accountable to him. I will follow you as you follow him. I will submit to you as you submit to him. This is one of those topics of conversation that we could spend a lot of time on. What happens if we, both husbands or wife, are married to an unbelieving spouse or someone who is not submitted to the Lord?
Pastor Cameron:How then shall we live in accordance with the scripture? Alright. We'll talk a little bit about this on Wednesday night. Verse 25 is where things begin to change. Because for 3 verses Paul talks about the responsibility of wives which is to submit.
Pastor Cameron:But now here for the next 8 verses Paul is gonna talk about the responsibility of husbands. What you must understand is is that this is where Paul and the very heart of Christianity begins to deviate sharply from the worldly pattern of the day that Paul finds himself in, this Greco Roman world where the husband had little to no obligation to his wife. Paul rewrites not separate from the way that Jesus interacted with women in the gospels, which is which is with incredible dignity and worth. We could preach a whole series on that. But but where Paul takes his takes takes the whole idea and runs with it himself in order to completely dismantle the Greco Roman conception of how a husband should be in relationship to the his wife.
Pastor Cameron:If the word submit was the word that summed up the responsibility for the wife, The word love is the word that sums up the responsibility of the husband. Husband, love your wives. Verse 25. When Paul talks about submission of wives to husbands, he's not upholding the contemporary kind of subjugation of wives or women to husbands or men. He was helping to redefine it in light of the example and ministry of Jesus Christ.
Pastor Cameron:A guy named Philo, a a Greek, historian in the time of Paul before, said this. He said that wives must be in servitude to their husbands as if they were indentured slaves, doing whatever they were told whenever they were told, without question, without exception. Joseph Josephus, a Jewish scholar, also a contemporary to Jesus, said this about the relationship between husbands and wives, that they speak to the needs of wives to be obedient to their husbands no matter the case. Women in the Greco Roman world were not included in any type of census. They were not recognized by the government as being citizens.
Pastor Cameron:They could not vote. They could not take part in any form of government process. Men could divorce them at any time for virtually any reason. Women could be sold or traded like property. No one ever asked a bride or a groom really if they loved one another as they were getting married because for the Greco Roman world love had very very little to do with it at all.
Pastor Cameron:It was a contract usually between 2 people of similar economic or social class. See what Paul is trying to do here in Ephesians is to model the household relationship or even more specifically the covenant of marriage on the grounds of the gospel and the gospel alone not on the culture that he found himself in. He said forget what you know about being a husband or a wife in the Greco Roman world. Right? The gospel demands something different for us.
Pastor Cameron:The gospel demands something different from us. It's meant to guide the head of the household, the husband, to a new conception of how their role is submission to Christ as a means to both serve and lead the others in the household. Now if Paul just said here, husbands love your wives. We might men, husbands here, we might all think, oh, thank goodness. I told my wife I loved her like 3 weeks ago, and I'm glad that I did that.
Pastor Cameron:Right? I told her. I told her I I told her I loved her when we got married. That must be that must be what it takes. Right?
Pastor Cameron:Husbands love your wives. Period. Because listen. I love my wife. Right?
Pastor Cameron:I also love chicken wings. The 2 are not the same. Right? They're not the same thing. So it's not enough for Paul just to say, hey.
Pastor Cameron:Love your wives. So what does he say? Paul or husbands, love your wives, what? As, just as, in the way of the as in a perfect example of just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her and gave himself up for her. Husbands, how much of yourself are you holding on in relationship to your wife?
Pastor Cameron:The verb love here comes from the from the verb of love, agape. You know, there's many forms of love in the Greek language and in the scriptures. The verb for love here in Ephesians 5 is the word agape, which is the highest form of love that we have in the New Testament. It is the form of love that is used to describe when when it, when the love is described between Jesus and those he died for, between God and his people. That is the type of love.
Pastor Cameron:And like how we said, the word submit was in the middle voice, had a specific type of meaning or drive to it. The form of agape love here in Ephesians 525 also has a significant meaning. It is in the present active imperative placement within the sentence. What in the heck does that mean? Right?
Pastor Cameron:When you talk about something being in the present active imperative placement in the sentence, it means that it continues to happen without wavering, without stopping, without interruption all the time, everywhere, no matter what. It is present. It is active. It is imperative. K?
Pastor Cameron:So what Paul is saying here is he's saying, husbands, be constantly, be unwaveringly, be unstoppingly, be actively, be repetitively, be sacrificially, be humbly, be gently loving your wives without stopping in every moment sprint towards the finish line of sacrificial love. Not a love like you love chicken wings, but a love like Jesus loved his church and gave himself up for her. This is not an emotional type of love that is gone once the emotions flee. This is a volitional love that requires a volitional choice. This love becomes this type of love becomes practical in another of Paul's letters probably the most specific that Paul gets here.
Pastor Cameron:In Colossians chapter 3 verse 19 he says this, husbands love same form of agape. Husbands love your wife, and he gives the most practical advice. Do not be harsh with them. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Paul uses his highest form of love, and he uses Christ's example of love for the church to essentially say, hey, husbands.
Pastor Cameron:This is how you do it. This is how it happens. If I have any experience with working with husbands and with men in general over time, I will say this, just about every husband I know would stand up and say, I would gladly take a bullet for my wife. I step in front of that bullet. I'd push her out of the way of the car.
Pastor Cameron:I'd fight the person that tries to hurt her. Right? Puff her chest. I'm doing it. Do anything that I had to do to protect my wife.
Pastor Cameron:Yeah. Agreed. Right? All of us are the heroes in our own mental fantasies about how we would protect and love our wife. But will you listen to her when she wants to talk after a long day?
Pastor Cameron:Yeah. You'll take a bullet for her, but will you honor her dreams by helping her to pursue them? Despite what you may feel internally, emotionally, mentally about them, will you lay down what you feel about it? Will you guard your tone against harshness of speech? Will you honor her in public and in private?
Pastor Cameron:See, interestingly enough, the word husband has its root word in the word farmer. You know that? That's why when we talk about someone who is a farmer and they practice animal what? Husbandry. Right?
Pastor Cameron:It is meant to describe the actions of someone who cultivates life. Yes. The husband is the head of the home, the head of the wife. But listen, if the same love that Christ has for the church is not the foundation, then the husbandry of the man quickly devolves into this petty type of tyranny that is selfish in nature and does not fulfill the qualifications of as Christ loved the church. If the foundation upon which, husbands, you are trying to get your wife to submit and listen to you is anything other than the same type of love that Jesus has for the church, then your position and posture towards your wife will quickly devolve into this petty form of tyranny where you're just trying to subjugate her under your control Rather than let her flourish in the God given functionality of willfully submitting to how you are following Jesus.
Pastor Cameron:Don't expect your wife to follow you if you're not loving her like Jesus loved the church. Paul says this, husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church, gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In other words, husbands, if the comparison remains, if the simile is correct, if we are to believe it, the question that we must ask is, are we taking what we have been made responsible to love, cultivate and lead? And are we presenting our wives back to the father in a manner that shows that we have laid down our lives in order that she may be radiant without blemish and set apart from the world and in life. Have we so honored the sacred trust to our wives that one would say that our marriage faithfully reflects the beauty of the gospel?
Pastor Cameron:Husbands, how are we presenting our wives to Jesus? With honor and love the same way that Jesus presented the church through a sacrifice or with harshness, injury, and shame? Finally, we're gonna end here with these last few thoughts. Verse 31. For this reason, Paul says, quoting Genesis chapter 2 verse 24, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the 2 shall become 1 flesh.
Pastor Cameron:Paul introduces Genesis 2, 24 here as his own theological foundation for his belief on marriage. Paul, it should be noted here, is not just simply sharing his own opinions, informed by his own broken culture or world. Paul is building on the foundation of what god had already revealed in the fabric of creation itself. That marriage is the organic union of 1 man and 1 woman. What was normal for God way back in the midst of creation remains normal for Paul now.
Pastor Cameron:Remains true for him now that he is writing in the New Testament. What was God's best then is God's best now. And Paul was not going to acquiesce that ground even a single bit and neither should we. Not because we desire to be militant, not because we desire to be harsh, not because we desire to carry a big stick or a big sign that says what we believe, but because we understand as people of faith, as followers of Jesus Christ, that God's word to us is God's best for us. That God's design for us is God's best for us.
Pastor Cameron:And what is best for us is best for everyone. Finally, as Paul says in verse 32, he says all of that about wives and husbands and then he says this, this is a great mystery, but I'm really talking about Christ in the church. Thanks for all of that. What what could he possibly mean? Here is an illustration of how Jesus loves the church.
Pastor Cameron:K? Marriage here is a horizontal microcosm, a picture into the the glory of the vertical relationship. Our our marriages are meant to reflect the glory, the honor, the the the transcendence even of the relationship between Jesus and his church. Our marriages are meant to exemplify and proclaim and be a living witness to the reality of Christian life. Where the wives submit to the husbands.
Pastor Cameron:Why? Because as Christian people, right, we submit ourselves to the lordship of Jesus. We are not our own. We were bought with a price. Jesus has ransomed us from sin and death.
Pastor Cameron:We are his. We are not as not our own. We have been adopted as sons and daughters. We are part of his family, not our own. We have an inheritance that waits for us in heaven that has been given to us as a from the promised Holy Spirit.
Pastor Cameron:We submit, wives, you submit to your husbands because we as followers of Jesus submit to him as our lord. Husbands, you love your wives as Christ loved the church because in sacrificial love, Christ has given himself over to death that you might know the forgiveness of your sins to the breaking of his body and the shedding of his blood. It is in the it is in the sacrifice of Jesus that the gospel is proclaimed, and it is in the self sacrificing love of the husband to his wife who is submitting to him that the gospel is proclaimed. Listen. God does not exist to make your marriage great.
Pastor Cameron:Your marriage exists to glorify and make God great. Your marriage exists to bring glory to him. To be a proclamation of the gospel, to be a proclamation of the lordship of Jesus Christ and submission to him, to be a proclamation of the self sacrificing love of Jesus for us all. The gospel exists. Our marriages exist to put the gospel on display for the world to see.
Pastor Cameron:I don't know what else to say about that. I'm I'm tired. So I know. Heavenly father, would you be exalted on high in all of the earth, lord? Lord, would you be exalted in our marriages?
Pastor Cameron:Would you be exalted in the way that we submit and sacrifice, the way that we love unwaveringly and without reservation. Lord, we know that you come where you're wanted. Lord, we want you here. We want you in our marriages. We want you in our lives.
Pastor Cameron:Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Kinda would be blessed. Have a great week.
